IBM
          I Blame Microsoft
          Idiots Buy Me
          Idiots Building Machines
          I'll Buy Macintoshes (next time...)
          It Bit Me
          It Built Microsoft
          It's Better Manually
          I've Been Mislead
          I've Been Mugged
WINDOWS
          Well, It Never Does Operate With Speed
          When I Need Data Output Without Speed
          While Idle, Needs DX or WorkStation
          Wholly Inadequate Needless Damned Outrageous Waste of Space
          Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
WIN
          Whoppingly Immense NOP
          Worm Infestation Netware
MS-WINDOWS NT / WINDOWS NT
          My Solitaire With Its New De-accelerator, Only With Some
Network Technology
          Well Intended, Netword De-accelerator, Only Works Sometimes,
Never Totally
          WINDOWS (as a) Network Trojan

Different Operating Systems Expectations

     Macintosh: What You See Is What You Get
     MS-DOS: You Asked For It, You Got It
     UNIX: IfUHv2sk, UDntWnt2Kno
     VMS: You Got It, All Of It, Want It Or Not

Random Abbreviations for Many Computer
Companies

     APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
     DEC: Dump Everything and Close
     DEC: Do Expect Cuts
     HCL: Hilarious Computer Logic
     HP: Hot Pursuit
     IBM: I Blame Microsoft
     MAC: Most Absurd Computer
     MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System
Hangs
     MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only
Fools Teenagers
     NEXT: Now EXchange for Trash
     OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too.
     WARP: What A Rot Program

Acronymns for Other Computer Terms:

     AMIGA: A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
     BASIC: Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
     CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
     COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
     DOS: Defective Operating System
     ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
     LISP: Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
     MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
     PCMCIA: People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
     PENTIUM: Produces Erroneous Numbers Through Incorrect Understanding
of Mathematics
     SCSI: System Can't See It
     WWW: World Wide Wait


--
Larry Barnes
Director of I.T.
Mitek Corp.
602-438-4545 X 1366
Phoenix, AZ 85040
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