Politically Correct
 HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."
 2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."
 3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."
 4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
    INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."
 5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."
 6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."
 7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY
    INCONVENIENCED."
 8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."
 9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."
10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."
11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" - She is "PECTORALLY
    SUPERIOR."
12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."


HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
    STORAGE FACILITY."
 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."
 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
    DESTINATIONS."
 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."
 5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL  DIFFERENTIAL
    RELATIONSHIPS."
 6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" - He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY
    HORIZONTAL."
 7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
    "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."
 8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."
 9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."
10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."
11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR
    CLEAVAGE."

 

 

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