A little Tuesday humor.

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 CDR Paul Edwards USNR Ret.       HP 3000 Certified Consultant
 Paul Edwards & Associates        Phone: (972) 242-6660
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Kmart Hires Arthur Andersen

Chicago — Ailing retail giant Kmart today
announced it would not have to declare bankruptcy after an audit
conducted by its newly hired accounting firm, Arthur Andersen,
found no records of company finances whatsoever.

"Our previous accounting firm told us we lost $224 million in the
fiscal third quarter, but Andersen has informed us that, at least on
paper, we didn't have a fiscal third quarter," said CEO Charles
Conaway. "What a difference proper accounting makes."

Andersen executives did not return several messages. A company
attorney later explained his clients were only allowed one phone
call, and they had already made it.

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