The only reason that anyone would get excited about the disclaimers in the
Register is because they have not seen mine:

The sender of this e-mail can neither confirm nor deny the validity of any
of its contents nor its usefulness to the recipient.
The recipient of this e-mail may or may not be the intended recipient and
all recipients not intended to receive this e-mail must delete this e-mail,
all associated e-mails and attachments immediately or may found to
prosecutable under the incompetent recipient's law.
This e-mail may or may not be timely whether or not it has been received by
the intended recipient.
All untimely e-mails must be deleted before read under the untimely e-mail
recipient's law.
If this e-mail is untimely, inappropriate, and / or received by an
unintended recipient, all e-mail of the recipient may be subject to the
copyright law and may be claimed as material for said copyrights.
The recipient(s) must insure that this e-mail is not used for any illegal
purposes, be used for harrassment, be used as a racial or ethnic slur of
any kind, employed as a threat either implied or explicit, refrain from all
abuses relating to sexual orientation, and / or be used in harming any
animals, whether of an endangered species or not.
This e-mail is not intended to be used for commercial purposes, and the
sender is held harmless for any legal instruments created by the recipient,
intended or not.
This e-mail is for private use only, and must not be monitored by any
person or persons, whether associated with a governmental, corporate,
religious, or private entity, including, but not restricted to, both the
recipient and / or the sender.
Said e-mail must not be used in any religious rite or any pseudo-religious
rite and / or any activity which may be construed as a religious rite.
This e-mail must contain clear, brief, and explicit information for the
intended recipient only, but in no case will the sender of this e-mail be
responsible if it is not.
The recipient must exercise due and reasonable caution in exercising
implementation of any part of this e-mail; failure to do so may result in
great and irreparable embarassment.
This e-mail is not intended, nor should be used for any managerial decision
making, whether implicit or explicit and all managers who receive this e-
mail are required to sign a form of waiver stating their understanding of
this provision; the waiver must be prepared and signed in hard copy format,
and no portion of the waiver shall be scanned or recorded by any electronic
or photographic means including, but not restricted to scanners, copy
machines, spy cameras, and / or Kodak Instamatic devices.
No copy, whether partial or full, may be made of this e-mail either
electronically or any other means as provided for and cited in the
immediately preceding clause.
This e-mail also may be found harmful to various body parts, including, but
not restricted to, reproductive organs, and may be found transmitted by a
medium which generates harmful radiation, the exposure to which, may make
the recipient absent-minded, and blur his eyesight.
No practical use may be found for this transmission, and the sender and all
associates, family, and friends shall be rendered harmless from prosecution
if any use is actually found for this e-mail or not, up to and including
the third and fourth generation of said sender, family, and friends.
The recipient of this e-mail will solely be held accountable for the
contents of this e-mail, except that any monies or profits made from said e-
mail will immediately revert to the sender and all royalties resulting from
the receipt of this e-mail shall be considered property of the sender and
his heirs for 99 years after the death of the sender.

* To join/leave the list, search archives, change list settings, *
* etc., please visit http://raven.utc.edu/archives/hp3000-l.html *