Some evidence that the gene pool may need a little chlorine:

 Sign in a gas station:  Coke -- 49 cents. Two for a dollar.

 I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
 noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit
 card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction
 unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she explained that it
 was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the
 signature I just signed on the receipt.  So I signed the credit card
 in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I
 signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

 At a grocery store in San Jose, they have new credit card/bank card
 readers at the checkout stands. If you don't know how to orient your
 card to swipe it through the reader, the checkout person will say,
 "Strip down, face toward me."

 A customer at a sub shop ordered "a small soda." The owner responded,
 "I'm sorry, sir, but we don't have small, just medium and large." (Both

 cost 99 cents.) The kicker came when the customer, a rather
 well-dressed business type, disappointedly said, "Okay, I guess I'll
 just have to have the medium then."

 Idiots and Geography:
 After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I
 described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic. My boss said,
 Really?  Where is Monosyllabia?" Thinking that he was just kidding, I
 played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied,
 "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?

 Advice for Idiots:
 An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety
 Handbook for Employees." "Blink your eyelids periodically to
 lubricate your eyes."

 Idiots in the Neighborhood:
 I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the
 local township administrative office to request the removal of the
 Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit
 by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

 Idiots and Computers:
 My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
 of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
 problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman
 in one of the branch banks who had this question: "I've got smoke
 coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
 downtown?"

 Idiots In Food Services:
 My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked
 the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he
 was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

 Idiots Do Math:
 A co-worker was telling us about her sister who was coming to visit
 her for the holidays. Someone asked how old her sister was, at which
 she paused, thought for a bit, and then answered, "She's half as old
 as I am, that's how I always remember." So someone else (okay, it was
 me) said, "That's neat...  So every year that you age, she only ages
 half a year?" My co-worker thought about that, and then said, "Oh,
 yeah, I guess it only works on even years."




---------------------------- Forwarded with Changes ---------------------------
From: Robin King at SPHS-OR06
Date: 2/17/98 8:33AM
To: Jacqueline Gorey at SPHS-OR30
To: Bruce Jenkins at SPHS-OR30
To: Aaron Johnson at SPHS-OR30
To: Louise White at SPHS-OR30
To: Dave Bublitz at SPHS-OR30
To: Richard Holloway at SPHS-OR30
*To: Don Borkowski at SPHS-OR05
*To: JeanAnn Byrd at SPHS-OR16
*To: Ed Craig at SPHS-OR05
*To: Daniel Hansen at SPHS-OR16
*To: Tereza Julian at SPHS-OR05
*To: Norm Lorenz at SPHS-OR16
*To: David MacLeod at SPHS-OR16
*To: Jaime Mejia at SPHS-OR05
*To: Michael Nishizaki at SPHS-OR16
*To: Jeff Phillips at SPHS-OR16
*To: Rex Roberts
*To: Rolf Schilasky at SPHS-OR05
*To: Chris Austin at SPHS-OR16
*To: Greg Austin at SPHS-OR16
*To: Dwight Beemer at SPHS-OR16
*To: Tricia Faherty at SPHS-OR16
*To: Debbie Kern at SPHS-OR16
*To: Steve Masingila at SPHS-OR16
Subject: Some people really need help...
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