THE YEAR'S BEST ACTUAL HEADLINES!

     CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER

     SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

     POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

     IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

     IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS
Okay, I haven't validated these, but I'm sure they could be actual
headlines; our public education at work?

Enjoy!

     PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

     PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

     TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS

     MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

     JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

     WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

     IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY. IT MAY LAST AWHILE

     COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

     COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

     RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES

     TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUN DREDS DEAD

     MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE

     NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

     ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

     KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

     CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY

     LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

     HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

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