In case you too, are tied of those automated phone answering/routing
systems:
Subject: Hotline
>
>Hello and welcome to the Helpdesk Mental Health hotline . . .
>
>If you are Obsessive-compulsive, press 1, repeatedly.
>
>If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
>
>If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, & 6.
>
>If you are Paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the
>line and we will trace your call.
>
>If you are Delusional, press 7, and your call will be transferred to the
>Mother Ship.
>
>If you are Schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell
>you which number to press.
>
>If you are a Manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press,
>no one will answer.
>
>If you are Dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
>
>If you have a Nervous Disorder, please fidget with the dash key until a
>representative comes on the line.
>
>If you have Amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number,
>date of birth, tax file number, your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
>
>If you have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, slowly and carefully press
>000.
>
>If you have Bi-polar Disorder, please leave a message after the beep or
>before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
>
>If you have Short-Term Memory Loss, please try your call again later.
>
>If you have Low Self Esteem, please hang up. All our representatives
>are far too busy to talk to you.
>
/jf
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Monday, December 7th
Pearl Harbor Day
Today in 1787 - Delaware become the 1st state to join the Union.
1941 - The Japanese attached Pearl Harbor.
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