http://www.azcentral.com/community/scottsdale/articles/0826ross-death26.
html



--Kathy Shayna Shocket and Connie Cone Sexton
The Arizona Republic
Aug. 26, 2004 12:00 AM


She lived as an international icon, a tireless champion for the
terminally ill who changed the way people thought about death and dying.


She died as a frail 78-year-old who welcomed death, content that her
mission was complete.

The final chapter in the life of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross began last
Thursday in a Scottsdale care center as she sipped juice and ate a piece
of her favored Swiss chocolate. To help manage her breakthrough pain,
she was given an increased dose of morphine. Swallowing pain pills had
become difficult. Later that night, she slipped into unconsciousness,
never to wake again. 

She died at 8:10 p.m. Tuesday, surrounded by family and friends.

It was the kind of peaceful and dignified death she wished for herself
and the world.

It was the final stage, acceptance, that Kubler-Ross outlined in her
1969 book On Death and Dying, which became a pop-culture phenomenon. She
theorized that the dying go through five stages of grief: denial, anger,
bargaining, depression and acceptance. 

Many scholars praised her for recognizing the emotions that the
terminally ill endure. But other academics charged that the grief stages
were too rigid. Kubler-Ross, however, stressed the stages were never
meant to be a formula. Some people may even experience two stages at the
same time, she said.

Kubler-Ross, who had been ill for several years after suffering from a
series of strokes and infections, died of natural causes.

Feisty, charismatic and empathetic, the Swiss-born psychiatrist took
hold of the subject of death in the 1960s and never let go. She rallied
for doctors and nurses to treat the dying with dignity, addressing their
questions, fears and anxieties but also their pain.

"She got people talking about death and dying and took it out of the
closet," said Susan Levine, executive director of Hospice of the Valley
in Phoenix.

"It was the last taboo after sex and money, the things you don't talk
about in polite company. I'm sorry the world will be without her.
Personas like hers don't come along every decade."

On Death and Dying, the first of about 20 books she would write, was
grounded in the lives of the 500 terminally ill patients whom
Kubler-Ross interviewed. She invited several to speak to medical and
divinity students she taught at the University of Chicago. 

Although many doctors recoiled at her frankness about death, she became
an icon not only to those working in the field of death and dying but
also to the terminally ill and their loved ones. She urged doctors not
to let their patients die in pain. Millions of her books have been sold
and translated into several languages. In 1999, Time magazine named her
as one of the "100 Most Important Thinkers" of the past century.

Kubler-Ross was a rebel from a young age, ignoring her father's wishes
to become a secretary. She became a country doctor in Switzerland,
instead. In 1958, she married an American doctor, and they moved to the
United States, where she eventually landed at the University of Chicago
and developed a following for her seminars on death and dying.

But the university failed to see the scientific merit of On Death and
Dying, and Kubler-Ross was denied tenure. So she hit the lecture circuit
to give "Life, Death and Transition" workshops, increasing her public
profile. She delved into research and wrote more books.

Near the end of the 1970s, she became interested in mysticism and
spirituality. Her quest, in which she got help from "spiritual guides,"
repelled some of her admirers. She came to wonder if death existed at
all or if the dying pass into another world. 

She sparked more controversy in 1980 when she bought a farm in Virginia
to create a healing center where she planned to care for AIDS babies.
The center burned to the ground in 1994. She suspected her work had
angered the community.

She moved to Scottsdale in 1995 at the urging of her son, Ken Ross, who
lives there.

Although strokes weakened her body, they did not affect her mind and
speech, said her son, a travel photographer. 

On Sunday, a hospice nurse told Kubler-Ross' family that her heart was
weak and that she might die within hours. When her daughter, Barbara
Rothweiler, called from Wisconsin to say she would be there the next
day, someone put the phone up to Elisabeth's ear, and within an hour,
her heartbeat got stronger and steadier. 

Kubler-Ross didn't want extreme measures, like a feeding tube, to stay
alive. 

Before she died, she was asked how she would know when her last breath
was near. "She said, "I'll know. Every part of me from my head to my
toes will know that its time to go,' " said Brookes Cowan, a hospice
volunteer who flew in from Vermont to help manage her friend's pain.

Kubler-Ross added that she was "going to dance across the galaxies."

During her final hour, her son and daughter were at her side. Her
grandchildren, who had been sitting across from her bed watching cartoon
videos, were taken outside when it appeared death was imminent.

"Elisabeth was all about death and dying in character, and her death
epitomized that. The act-of-dying phase lasted about an hour. The room
was full of life and chaos," Cowan said. "That's how people used to die,
surrounded by children and adults, and it's accepted as a natural part
of the life experience." 

Condolences have been coming from around the world. The Duchess of York,
Sarah Ferguson, called Ross on Wednesday to say she was sorry to hear
about his mother's condition and offered her assistance. Ferguson
visited with Kubler-Ross after Princess Diana died. 

Visitation will be held from noon to 3 p.m. Sept. 4 at Scottsdale Bible
Church, 7601 E. Shea Blvd. Her memorial service will follow at 3 p.m.,
also at the church. Those planning to attend are asked to send an e-mail
to [log in to unmask] More information is available at
www.elisabethkublerross.com . 

Kubler-Ross, who moved to Scottsdale in 1995, had been living in an
assisted-living complex for the past two years.

Ross said his mother had been in the acceptance stage of facing death
for about 10 years. 

Others saw her as bitter or angry. Not because she was going to die, but
because after all the work she did to help others die with autonomy and
independence, she was facing a lingering death and was herself
dependent.

Her son recalled that after she suffered a bad fall and infection and
nearly died about two years ago, she said she was ready to go. She
recovered.

"She told us that she was like a plane that had left the gate and not
taken off," Ross said.

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