> New Element Discovered
>
> A major research institution (... NC State University, ed) has recently
> announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to
> science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."
>
> Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons,
> and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
> These
> 31 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
> surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
>
> Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be
> detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
> A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4
> days
> to complete when it would normally take less than a second.
> Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years; it does not
> decay,
> but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
> assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
> governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
> reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
>
> This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to
> speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain
> quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as
> Critical Morass". You will know it when you see it.

FW

"We don't have a democracy, we have an auction." - anon

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