Many thanks to all the folks who had kind words to say about the song
entitled "The Ballad of MPE". I performed it at the Chicago HPWorld
conference with a chorus that included a host of luminaries too numerous
to name here. If you were on stage with us, let's just say that you
ought to be every bit as ashamed of yourself as I am! ;^)
I hope that it will be remembered as a highlight of Monday night's
25th Anniversary HP 3000 party. A number of people have asked about
getting a copy of the song. It was not (to my knowledge) recorded.
But I'll try my best to convey the spirit of the event, (not to mention
the words and music of the song) in this message.
First, the words were written on a train traveling between Chicago
and Jackson, Michigan; (something about trains makes them uniquely
suitable places for songwriting and poetry). Longtime HP 3000 booster
Orly Larson contributed some revisions after arriving in Chicago
in an effort to make my polysyllabic rambling match the melody more
closely and to tone it down somewhat so as to avoid any possibility
of rioting amongst the crowds of partygoers. The lyrics that
appear below are to the best of my somewhat foggy memory what we
actually
sang on stage.
Or not....
Secondly, the melody of the song was borrowed from an old
Irish drinking song which has borne many titles over the years.
I myself have heard at least 3 different sets of lyrics set to
it. I've heard it recorded by the Clancy Brothers as "The Old
Orange Flute", "Master McGraw" and "Moses O-Too-Ra-Li-Ay." I'm sure
the same melody has been used for countless other songs and parodies.
If you know of any, I'd be interested in hearing about them.
Also, if anybody wants to try their hand at writing additional words
or verses, please feel free to do so. But I take no responsibilty for
any civil unrest that results.
===
The Ballad of MPE
Chorus: (Best Sung in boozy three part harmony)
Now this is a song all about MPE
It does client Server with ODBC
It complements UNIX and even NT
And it comes from that company known as HP.
Verses:
Nineteen sev'nty two's when it was introduced.
To old Hewlett-Packard it gave quite a boost
With VPlus and IMAGE and HP Cobol
In a portable box that was just six feet tall.
T'was so long ago I remember it barely
When my network and system were proprietary
And I should have known I was being misled
The first time I heard the 3000 was dead
Way back in the days of old MPE/V
They said the 3000 could not stay alive
They said that HP would be calling it quits
'Cuz their architecture's based on just 16 bits.
But that wasn't how Hewlett-Packard behaved.
The comp'ny was managed by Bill and by Dave.
Release 1.0 of PA-RISC was great.
First shipments were made only 18 months late.
Sing the Chorus - this time encouraging the crowd to join in....
But that didn't stop them. The rumors they spread
That the HP 3000 would soon wind up dead
And as if to fulfill all these prophesies grim
UNIX arrived with a new paradigm*
Now managing UNIX - it surely is swell
You can choose from the Posix or Korne or Bourne shell
With a language that's so easy to understand
Choose any two letters, and that's a command!
Now, folks who love UNIX, I've lately observed
Are propeller head geeks and they get on my nerves.**
Your kernel may panic, but still they will taunt
"Hey it's open! It's UNIX! What more do you want?"
Repeat the chorus again - this time the crowd will need no
encouragement...
One true open Standard, HP now debates
Here's one definition I heard from Bill Gates
"With these words of wisdom, you'll surely agree,
It's open as long as you bought it from me!"
So now we use UNIX 'long side MPE
And soon I suppose we'll be using NT.
But they ain't the reason I'm singing this song.
It's my HP 3000 keeps chuggin' along.
Last chorus. If crowd gets unruly, keep singing in the face of anything
short of rifle fire....
---
Notes:
* In this verse, the word "paradigm" rhymes with "dim" or "grim"
** I think we softened this line in an effort to avoid offending any
UNIX customers who might have wandered into our MPE party. The only
trouble is I don't remember exactly what we changed it to.
In any case, our efforts were futile. On the day following the party,
one erstwhile UNIX guru accosted me just outside the HP booth,
threatening
me with bodily harm if I called him and his kind "propeller heads"
again. Mind you, he wasn't upset with the fact that I had
characterized UNIX-lovers as "geeks". Rather, he took issue with
the source of the comment. He said that there was no doubt that
most UNIX people *were* "propeller head geeks". But at the same time,
he felt that the right to *make* that statement should be reserved
only to other devotees of the UNIX operating system, in all its
various flavors and permutations. For my part, I tried to convince
him that as an HP stockholder I had every right to include
myself in the company of "UNIX-lovers" (although my reasons were
based less on technology and more on avarice). But just as I was
gearing up for a fight, he assured me that he was just kidding.
P.S. If anybody in ESY is reading this, relax, it was just a joke.
And BTW he loved the song.
--
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George Stachnik VoiceMail (408) 447-4156
c/o Hewlett-Packard Fax: (408) 447-4952
Installed Base Marketing Pgm's. email [log in to unmask]
19111 Pruneridge Ave | MS 44UL or [log in to unmask]
Cupertino CA 95014
Opinions expressed in this message are mine and mine alone. My employer
will have to get his own.
Watch the Hewlett-Packard Technology Closeup Interactive TV Broadcasts:
See http://www.hp.com/go/tapes for details on videotapes.
See http://www.hp.com/go/registerhp3k to register for our 9/30
broadcast,
"Using the HP 3000 Together with Microsoft's NT"
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