A contest was held for people to submit their theories on ANY subject.
Below
are the winners:

4th RUNNER-UP (Subject:  Probability Theory).   If an infinite number of
rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite
number
of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will
eventually
produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.

3rd RUNNER-UP (Subject:  Bio-Mechanics).  Why Yawning Is Contagious: You
yawn to
equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your
eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they then yawn to even
it
out.

2nd RUNNER-UP (Subject:  Symbolic Logic).  Communist China Is
Technologically
underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use
acronyms
to communicate technical ideas at a faster rate.

1st RUNNER-UP (Subject:  Newtonian Mechanics).  The earth may spin faster on
its
axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases
when
the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may
cause
our planet to spin dangerously fast.

HONORABLE MENTION (Subject:  Linguistics).  The quantity of consonants in
the
English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in
another.
When a Bostonian "pahks his cah," the lost R's migrate southwest, causing a
Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl" wells.

GRAND PRIZE WINNER (Subject:  Perpetual Motion).  When a cat is dropped, it
always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands
buttered
side down.  It was proposed to strap giant slabs of hot buttered toast to
the
backs of a hundred tethered cats; the two opposing forces will cause the
cats to
hover, spinning inches above the ground. Using the giant buttered toast/cat
array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.


+=====================================
 Keven Miller   KC7LYD  ICQ 5721825
 [log in to unmask]   (Salt Lake City, Utah, USA)
+=====================================