If you don't have children, you should probably skip this one.

Murphy's Mom had her own laws.

Everyone knows that Murphy wrote the law:  "If it can go wrong, it will."  
But before Murphy there was his mother.  She survived the trials and 
tribulations of life with baby, for better or worse.  She developed 
her own set of laws she could share with parents everywhere.

1)  Kids have a short attention span for almost everything but TV.

2)  Bad habits are acquired very quickly, while the good ones take ages 
to instill.

3)  No matter how late your child stays up and how late he usually 
sleeps on weekdays he will never sleep late on a weekend.

4)  If it can spill, it will.

5)  No matter how you butter the toast, cut the apple or peel the 
banana, if you don't first ask your child how she wants it served this 
time, you'll undoubtedly do it the wrong way and your child will refuse 
to eat it.

6)  Your child may eat nothing but peanut butter sandwiches for three 
meals a day, but one day he will look at the sandwich you just made and 
say. "YECH! I hate peanut butter!" Guaranteed, that will be the day 
you're already late for school and there's nothing else in the house. 
(Of course it will also be the day after you bought a dozen jars of 
peanut butter on sale).

7)  You child will become very forgetful when you ask her to do 
something for you; but promise her a treat or surprise and she'll 
suddenly develop the memory of an elephant.

8)  You child will rarely come home from school or camp with the same 
clothes, toys or lunch box that you sent him with in the morning.

9)  The more money you spend on an educational toy, the more likely it 
is that your child will be more interested in playing with the box that 
it came in.

10) If you slip once and say a four-letter word, it will instantly 
become your emerging-talker's favorite word; plus she will pick the most 
inappropriate times to repeat and repeat it.

11) A white shirt only stays pure white for the first five minutes after 
you put it on a child under the age of 10.

12) When you are away from home, you may think you've brought everything 
but the kitchen sink with you. but your child will want the one thing 
you forgot.

13) If you're on a long car trip with more than one child, they will 
have to use the bathroom at the same time.

14) If it can be taken apart by a child, it will, and the one piece that 
makes it work will be missing when you try to put it back together 
again.

15) The book that you find most annoying will become your child's 
favorite and you'll have to read it several time every night. (This 
holds true for Barney videos).

16) Say "Watch Out!" or "Be Careful!" to a child and watch him try 
exactly what you just advised against.

17) If your child brings home one glitter picture her whole life, you 
will keep finding the sparkly stuff in the house for years to come.

18) The pockets in your child's pants that you check before doing the 
wash, will be empty.  The ones you missed will contain already chewed 
gum, tissues, clay, crayons and other messy objects that will completely 
ruin all the other clothes in the washing machine.

19) If the house is silent when your child is awake, he's probably up to 
something you don't want him to be doing.