The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog Lola and was in
line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting The
Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in
the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an
intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's
in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I
told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is
to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enth ralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was
that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit
me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

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