I am passing these along -

Sons of Norway
 ---------------
Ole, Lars and Sven had been going to the Sons of Norway hall meeting as long as
there had been a hall. And every month, wouldn't ya know it, they didn't win a
prize in the monthly drawing.  That is until the last
meeting.

Sven was the first one of the three to get his name drawn. He won two pounds of
spaghetti sauce, four boxes of noodles, and three pounds of Swedish meatballs.

Ole had his name drawn next. He got himself round trip tickets to Duluth, a
nights stay at the Dew Drop Inn and a pair of tickets to see the Inger triplets
Polka Ensemble.
Ole thought that he had died and gone to heaven.

Lars was the last one to have his name drawn, he won a toilet brush.

At the next monthly meeting, they sat down together to check out how they had
fared for the past month.
Sven said "Uff da, I had dat pasghetti for tree days.
It was so good, and Helga didn't have to buy food for them dere tree days."

Ole said "Lena was so happy vhen I brought home dem tickets. The trip up to
Duluth was nice, we got to ride da Greyhound, and you know, they got a built in
outhouse on dat dere bus. And the Inger Triplets, if I didn't know better, I
would swear dey were sisters."

Then Ole turned to Lars, and asked him how his prize worked out. Lars looks at
them both and says "Dat dere toilet brush is nice, but I tink I'll go back to
using paper."


Only In America
---------------
Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance...

Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating
rink...

Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of
the store to get their prescriptions.

Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet
coke...

Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the
counters...

Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars  in the driveway
and put useless junk in the garage...

Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have
call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in
the first place...

Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of
eight...

Only in America... do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering!


Bob Schlosser
(407) 727-5893