Farmer Ernie is driving home from market in his battered old pickup when
he sees a little old lady walking along the dusty road, hauling a
suitcase behind her.
He stops, and said "Hi Ma'am, where are you going?"
"Do you know Willow Farm?" she said, "I'm visiting".
"Why, sure" he replies, "It's just along a ways from my farm - if you'd
like, I can give you a lift there".
"Why, than you", she says, and climbs in.
Hearing noises from the back of the pickup, she looks round. "Been to
market, then, I see".
"Yup", says Ernie, "Got a can of paint, a new bucket, a goose, and two
chickens".
Just then, the pickup splutters and dies. Ernie gets out and looks under
the hood. "Shoot", he says, "it's not far now, but I'll have to fetch me
some tools back to fix this. But I can't leave the stuff in the pickup
in this heat and how am I going to get it back to the farm?"
"That's easy", says the old lady. "You hold the paint can, in the
bucket, in one hand, the goose in the other, put a chicken under each
arm, and there you are".
Impressed, Ernie does this, and they walk along the road together.
"Well", says Ernie, "the road goes round there, but if we cut across
this field, it's a shorter route".
The old lady looks at the field a bit dubiously. "Seems very empty over
there - no folks for miles. How do I know you won't just tear my clothes
off and ravish me when we're halfway across the field?"
"Lady", says Ernie, "I've got a pot of paint and a bucket in one hand, a
goose in the other, and a chicken under each arm. Now, how in the world
am I going to ravish you with all these loading me up?"
"Well", she says, quick as a flash, "You put the goose down on the
ground, put the bucket over it, put the pot of paint on top to keep it
there -
and I'll hold the chickens".
--
Roy Brown 'Have nothing in your houses that you do not know to be
Kelmscott Ltd useful, or believe to be beautiful' William Morris
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