My Darn Good Resumé, Accomplishments as President
By GEORGE W. BUSH
THE WHITE HOUSE, USA
. I attacked and took over two countries.
. I spent the U.S. surplus and bankrupted the Treasury.
. I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
. I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.
. I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock
market.
. I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
. I am the first president in US history to enter office with a
criminal record.
. In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days
on vacation by any president in US history.
. After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided
over the worst security failure in US history.
. I set the record for most campaign fundraising trips by any
president in US history.
. In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their
jobs.
. I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any
other president in US history.
. I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
. I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions
than any president in US history.
. I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president
since the advent of TV.
. I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution
than any other president in US history.
. I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused
to intervene when corruption was revealed.
. I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and
refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
. I cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
. I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to
simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people),
shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of
mankind.
. I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US
history.
. I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any
in US history.
. Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US
history. (The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleezza Rice, has a
Chevron oil tanker named after her).
. I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the
Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
. I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any
market in any country in the history of the world.
. I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and
military occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the
will of the United Nations and the world community.
. I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the
history of the United States.
. I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending
increases, more than any other president in US history.
. I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the Human Rights Commission.
. I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations
remove the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.
. I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
Congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US
history.
. I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
. I withdrew from the International Criminal Court.
. I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by
default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
. I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations
election inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.
. I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate
campaign donations.
. The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of
my best friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy
frauds in world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEOof Enron Corporation).
. I spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in
US history.
. I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under
attack (and then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).
. I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
. I took the world's sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a
year made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the
biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
. I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the
people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to
world peace and stability.
. I am the first US president in history to have the people of South
Korea more threatened by the US than by their immediate neighbor, North
Korea.
. I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded
government contracts.
. I set the all-time record for number of administration appointees
who violated US law by not selling their huge investments in
corporations bidding for gov't contracts.
. I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than
any other president in US history.
. In a little over two years I have created the most divided country
in decades, possibly the most divided that the US has been since the
civil war.
. I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in
less than two years turned every single economic category heading
straight down, record unemployment being the most recent achievement.
RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
. I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas
drug conviction has been erased and is not available).
. I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during
a time of war.
. I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug
use.
. All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited
away to my father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for
public view.
. All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or
bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
view.
. All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served
on the board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
. Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding
public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public
review.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bruce Collins <[log in to unmask]>
Technical Specialist Phone : (416) 868-6550 Ext. 24
Lee Merrick & Assoc. Fax : (416) 868-6174
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
* To join/leave the list, search archives, change list settings, *
* etc., please visit http://raven.utc.edu/archives/hp3000-l.html *
|
