>  REDMOND, WA (DPI) - Billionaire geek Bill Gates reportedly tried to
> jump out of a window at Microsoft headquarters yesterday after receiving news of
> the stock market crash, but the suicide attempt failed when Gates could
> not get the window to function properly.  After having his entire Windows tech
> support staff work on the problem for several hours without success,
> Gates finally gave up and retired to his office for pizza and Jolt cola.

LB