Sorry, Friday, last week, was canceled.


 How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

 Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.

 Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the
 spirit of darkness.

 Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

 Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

 Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees
           to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

 Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks
                and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

 Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how
                to do it.

 Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against
             the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you
have found
             that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to
write a
             poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the
next Sunday
             service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb
traditions,
             including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and
tinted, all
             of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.

 Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely
             out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or
tulip bulb.
             Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb
of your
             choice and a covered dish.

 Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church
           lighting policy.

 Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

 Amish: What's a light bulb?

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