Lesson for the day:

Division of the human family into 2 distinct
political groups began some 12,000 years ago.
Humans existed as members of small bands of
nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer
in the mountains in the summer & would go to
the beach & live on fish & lobster in winter.

The 2 most important events in all of history
were the invention of beer & the invention of
the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man
to the beer.  These were the foundation of
modern civilization & together were the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into
2 distinct subgroups: Liberals & Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain
& that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither
the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented
yet, so while our early human ancestors were
sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking & killing
animals to B-B-Q at night while they were
drinking beer. This was the beginning of what
is known as "the Conservative movement." Other
men who were weaker & less skilled at hunting
learned to live off the conservatives by
showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's & doing the
sewing, fetching & hair dressing. This was the
beginning of the Liberal movement. Some of
these liberal men eventually evolved into
women.  The rest became known as 'girleymen.'

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include
the domestication of cats, the invention of
group therapy & group hugs & the concept of
Democratic voting to decide how to divide the
meat & beer that conservatives provided. Over
the years conservatives came to be symbolized
by the largest, most powerful land animal on
earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized
by the jackass.  Modern liberals like imported
beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw
fish but like their beef well done. Sushi,
tofu, & French food are standard liberal fare.
Another interesting revolutionary side note:
most of their women have higher testosterone
levels than their men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood & group therapists are
liberals. Liberals invented the designated
hitter rule because it wasn't "fair" to make
the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat
red meat & still provide for their women.
Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo
cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers,
medical doctors, police officers, corporate
executives, soldiers, athletes & generally
anyone who works productively outside
government.  Conservatives who own companies
hire other conservatives who want to work for
a living. Liberals produce little or nothing.
They like to "govern" the producers & decide
what to do with the production.  Liberals
believe Europeans are more enlightened than
Americans.  That is why most of the liberals
remained in Europe when conservatives were
coming to America.  They crept in after the
Wild West was tame & created a business of
trying to get MORE for nothing. Here ends
today's lesson in world history.



--
BT
NNNN



Tracy Johnson
Justin Thyme Productions
http://hp3000.empireclassic.com/

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