Chemistry MidTerm - Question & Answer
The following is an actual question from a University of Washington
chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the internet, which is, of
course why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well!
MidTerm Bonus question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how
many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different religions that
exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are
more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth
and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell
to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately
as souls are added. This gives us two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will
increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Teresa Banyan during my
freshman year, "....that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you." And take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then # 2 cannot be true,
and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.
This student received the only "A" given on this Mid-Term!
--
Michael Anderson
Spring Independent School District
16717 Ella Boulevard
Houston, Texas 77090-4299
office: 281.586.1105
fax: 281.586.1187
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