Frank McConnell writes:
>Seriously (and perhaps more helpfully), a couple of months ago I
>discovered that HP have a hardware recycling department, which US
>callers may reach at 800-535-7933.  My understanding is that they can
>arrange for pickup and environmentally correct disposal of HP
>hardware.
 
Gee, it's about time I got a good answer. Neither of the two serious
suggestions I've received so far would do much good, and might even be
harmful.  Gavin suggested that that I could dispose of it if I had a boat.
Either that means dumping it in some body of water or using the drive
as an anchor. Since Gavin can't possibly be advocating the former,
which is _not_ environmentally friendly, I can only assume that --
unusually for Gavin -- he has failed to do his calculations properly.
 
A 7933 weighs approximately 140 kg. Its full dimensions are 82.5 cm h x
55.2 cm w x 83.4cm d. This means that the volume of the drive is
approximately .38 m^3 and would therefore displace water with a mass of
about 380 kg. In short, the damn thing might float. This is not a
desirable characteristic in an anchor. Furthermore, there is no
good place to secure a hawser. If someone were to try to use the drive
as an anchor it could break loose and float away, becoming a hazard
to navigation. In today's litigious society, representing
a 7933 as a boat anchor is an act of some courage.
 
Guy Smith suggested a sort of disc drive demolition derby, in which
the public would be charged some amount to pound the drive to dust
with sledge hammers, with the resulting dust blowing away "to the hills."
In fact, there are two technical problems with this. First, the drive is
composed mostly (by volume) of various plastics, some with graphite
fibers used to enhance stability. Disposing of such a large volume of
unburned hydrocarbons as particulates would require an air pollution
permit, an expensive process since an environmental impact statement
may have to be prepared. Second, assuming the necessary permits could
be obtained -- not a certainty by any means -- Guy's solution would
only work well in the West and the Northeast. In the midwest and
Florida, Guy's plan would fail for lack of hills.
 
I also received several suggestions involving various juxtapositions
of disc drives and federal office buildings, but I assume these
were frivolous.
 
Incidentally, while my call to the number Frank provides did result
in scheduling a pickup of the drive, all was not entirely smooth:
They first offered to send me a mailing label. When I explained
to them that I didn't have enough stamps for something that weighs
300 pounds, they finally got me to the Person In Charge Of Big Stuff.
"Oh," she said when I told her what I wanted recycled, "we do those
all the time." They're sending a North American Van Lines truck
out next week -- maybe even the same one that took it
to its first home -- to take it to the Recycling Center for disposal
in an environmentally correct manner. "We therefore
commit its body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes,
dust to dust, in sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal
life."
 
As I turned it off for the last time, I noted with some surprise
that it had entered its last wishes in its maintenance log. These
I duly placed in a Last Will and Testament that will be taped to
the drive when it's placed on the truck. It wishes to be made
into computers for preschoolers so that it can know the joy and
laughter it was denied in a long life of storing dreary records
of overdue bills and unused inventory, surrounded only by, well,
people like us. And -- Denys, take note -- it stipulates that
NOT ONE MOLECULE of itself is ever to be used for making IBM PCs.
 
-- Bruce Toback
OPT, Inc.
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