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April 1996, Week 4

HP3000-L@RAVEN.UTC.EDU

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Subject:
From:
Don Harrington <[log in to unmask]>
Reply To:
Don Harrington <[log in to unmask]>
Date:
Mon, 22 Apr 1996 11:12:57 -0700
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ON METAPHYSICS
 
Deja Fu: The feeling that, somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the
head like this before.
 
ON DEEP THOUGHTS
 
A day without sunshine is like night.
 
ON PARADOX AND RETURN POLICIES
 
There is a CD out entitled "The Worst of the Jefferson Airplane".  If you
buy this, take it home, play it, and enjoy it, should you take it back
and demand a refund?
 
ON HIGHER EDUCATION
 
College is a fountain of knowledge...and the students are there to drink.
 
ON MATHEMATICAL TRANSFORMS
 
A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.
 
ON YOUTH
 
"Some people say that I must be a horrible person, but that's not true.  I
have the heart of a young boy - - in a jar on my desk." - - Steven King,
3/8/90.
 
ON PROBLEM SOLVING
 
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to resemble a
nail.   - - Abraham Maslow.
 
ON MATERIALISM
 
He who dies with the most toys, is, nonetheless, still dead.
 
ON RELIGIOUS PRACTICES
 
Photons have mass?  I didn't know they were Catholic!
 
ON INFINITY
 
If you had everything, where would you put it?
 
ON ECONOMICS
 
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
 
ON PUBLISHING OR PERISHING
 
I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone
has printed gibberish all over it and put your name on top.  - - English
Professor, Ohio State University.
 
ON REVISIONIST HISTORY
 
What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
 
ON DATING
 
When aiming for the common denominator, be prepared for the occasional
division by zero.
 
ON LAMENTATION
 
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
 
ON POETIC LOVE
 
When you're swimmin' in the creek
And an eel bites your cheek
That's a moray!
        - - The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers
 
ON MODERNISM
 
Q: How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Two.  One to hold the giraffe and the other to fill the bathtub with
   brightly colored machine tools.
 
ON MATERIAL SCIENCE
 
Character density:  The number of very weird people in the office.
 
ON EXTINCTION
 
Save the whales.  Collect the whole set.
 
ON LITERATURE
 
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly.  It should be thrown with
great force.  - - Dorothy Parker.
 
ON HUMILITY
 
To err is human, to moo bovine.
 
ON EXPLANATION OF THE END
 
"... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that,
lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their
C programs."  - - Robert Firth.
 
ON PROPHECY
 
The meek shall inherit the earth- - -they are too weak to refuse.
 
ON EXCUSES
 
I can't complain, but sometimes I still do.  - - Joe Walsh.
 
ON NUMBERS
 
Grabel's Law:  2 is not equal to 3- - -not even for very large values of 2.
 
ON WORLD POLITICS
 
Diplomacy is the are of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
 
AND FINALLY, ON DRUGS AND DEVELOPMENT
 
There are two major product to come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX.  We
don't believe this to be a coincidence.
 
 
Don  Harrington                         Boeing Commercial Airplane Group
(206) 931-4457 voice                    P. O. Box 3707 M/S 5J-34
(206) 931-9085 FAX                      Seattle, WA  98124-2207
[log in to unmask]
 
These thoughts are owned by the person expressing them, and no one else!

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