Rob Apgood writes:

> The funny thing about lawyer jokes is:
>          1.  Lawyers don't think they're funny, and
>          2.  Non-lawyers don't know they're jokes.

At the risk of further offending Rob, and because the list is nearly silent
today, let me tell one of my favorite lawyer jokes (which is bound to meet
criterion 1 above :-).

========================================

At one of the most exclusive resorts in Miami, where the least expensive rooms
were nearly a thousand dollars a day, one middle-aged gentlemen sat down in
one of the reclining chairs at the pool, directly adjacent to another fellow
just about his age.

After sitting there for a while, they finally began to talk to each and
introduced themselves. One was a dentist. The other was a lawyer.

The dentist said that over the years his practice had been very good to him.
He also said that he had invested all of his earnings in industrial warehouse
property, so that although he was becoming quite wealthy, he had been, up
until quite recently, cash-strapped.

The lawyer said his story was almost identical. His practice had been quite
good to him and he, too, had invested all of his money in very low-income,
inner-city rental properties. And he too, until recently, had been cash-
strapped. Unfortunately, he said, all of his rental properties had recently
caught fire and burned to the ground. But based on the size of the insurance
settlement, he was now able to retire rather handsomely.

The dentist said that his story was amazingly similar. He too recently had all
of his warehouse property destroyed by a flood -- and that the insurance
settlement had made him quite well off, too.

The lawyer soaked in this last bit of information for quite a time. After five
minutes of silently sitting there and thinking about it, curiosity finally got
the better of him and he asked, "How do you start a flood?"

========================================

Wirt Atmar