AN ARKANSAS CHRISTMAS
>
>'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, AND ALL THROUGH THE SHACK, NOT A DARN
>THING WAS A MOVIN' FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK.
>
>THE KIDS WERE IN BED, WE HAD NINE AT THE TIME,
>THE WIFE IN HER CURLERS, WAS LOOKIN' REAL FINE.
>
>A COLD WIND WAS BLOWIN', UP THE HOLLER IT MOANED,
>TEN DOGS ON THE PORCH ALL HOWLED AND GROANED.
>
>THE BOYS WERE ALL DREAMIN' OF WEAPONS AND A GUN,
>FOR KILLIN' GOD'S CREATURES, THERE'S NO BETTER FUN!
>
>THE GIRLS IN THEIR FEMININE DREAMS WERE ATTUNE,
>TO GETTING THOSE GALLONS OF WAL-MART PERFUME.
>
>THE WIFE WANTED JEWELRY, LIKE RINGS WITH BIG ROCKS.
>I JUST WANTED MY CHEVY DOWN OFF OF THEM BLOCKS.
>
>THEN OUT IN YARD, SUCH A NOISE DID COMMENCE,
>LIKE SOMETHING WAS CAUGHT IN OUR NEW BOB-WAR FENCE.
>
>I RAN TO THE WINDOW, AND SAW PRETTY QUICK,
>THE MAN MAKIN' THAT RACKET, WAS GOOD OL' ST. NICK.
>
>YOU MAY THINK OF SANTA IN YOU OWN MIND'S EYES,
>DRESSED IN A RED AND WHITE SUIT, BUT I'VE GOT A SURPRISE.
>
>THAT OLD BOY'S AN ARKIE, FROM UP NEAR MT. GAYLOR,
>HE MARRIED HIS COUSIN, AND THEY LIVE IN A TRAILER.
>
>ON CHRISTMAS, OF COURSE, A SLEIGH FOR HIS RIG,
>HE HOOKS THE THING UP TO A RAZORBACK PIG!
>
>HE CLIMBED ON THE ROOF, WITH HIS BAG & EACH GOODY,
>HE BACKED DOWN THE FIREPLACE, ALL DIRTY AND SOOTY.
>
>FAT LEGS IN HIS BRITCHES, CHUBBY HANDS IN EACH MITTEN,
>I MUST ADMIT FROM THE BACK, HE LOOKED LIKE BILL CLINTON.
>
>HE TURNED TOWARD THE TREE, HIS EYES ALL AGLOW,
>HE WAS AN ARKANSAS BOY FROM HIS HEAD TO HIS TOE.
>
>HIS NECK WAS A RED ONE, HIS SHIRT SAID "LITE BEER",
>HE HAD NO RED HAT ON, BUT HIS CAP READ "JOHN DEERE".
>
>HE LEFT ALL THE PRESENTS, WITH AN AIR OF DELIGHT,
>THEN IT WAS BACK TO THE CHIMNEY, AND INTO THE NIGHT.
>
>HE RAN INTO THE YARD, THREW HIS BAG IN THE SLEIGH,
>THEN HE YELLED AT THE DOGS, "GET THE HELL OUT TH' WAY!"
>
>I RAN OUT TO ASK HIM WHY HE BROUGHT SUCH GOOD CHEER;
>BUT INSTEAD HE JUST ASKED ME, "YOU GET YOU A DEER?"
>
>THEN I HEARD HIM EXCLAIM, AS THOSE PIGS TOOK FLIGHT,
>"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL...I NEED A BUD LITE!"
>
>
>
>WOO PIG SOOIE !!!!!!!!!
>
>

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