Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

The Bible:
  And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was
much  rejoicing"

Pat Buchanan:
  To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

Louis Farrakhan:
  The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed
the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

LA Police Department:
  Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out.

Bill Clinton:
  The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross
the road. I don't know any chickens. I have never known any chickens.

Dr. Seuss:
  Did the chicken cross the road?
  Did he cross it with a toad?
  Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
  but why it crossed,
  I've not been told!

Ernest Hemingway:
  To die. In the rain.

Martin Luther King, Jr.,
  I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.

Grandpa:
  In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told
us  that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

Aristotle:
  It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

Karl Marx:
  It was a historical inevitability.

Saddam Hussein:
  This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Bill Clinton, again:
  I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon
Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York.

Captain James T. Kirk:
  To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

Fox Mulder:
  You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?

Machiavelli:
  The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end
of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

Bill Gates:
  I have just released Chicken Coop 98, which will not only cross roads,
but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check
book -- and Explorer is an inextricable part of the operating system.

Einstein:
  Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

Colonel Sanders:
  I missed one?

Bill Clinton, again:
  I admit that I had an inappropriate relationship with the chicken...