> >
> > TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN (Anonymous) WHO'S HAD ENOUGH:
> > 1.) Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it
> > down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear
> > us bitching about you leaving it down.
> >
> > 2.) ALL men see in only 16 colors. Peach is a fruit,
> > not a color
> >
> > 3.) If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret
> > girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
> >
> > 4.) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't
> > ask us. We refuse to answer.
> >
> > 5.) Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not
> > quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet
> > again!
> >
> > 6.) If you ask a question you don't want an answer
> > to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
> >
> > 7.) Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live
> > with it. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless
> > you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint,
> > or the shotgun formation.
> >
> > 8.) Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the
> > changing of the tides. Let it be.
> >
> > 9.) Shopping is not a sport, and no, we're never
> > going to think of it that way.
> >
> > 10.) When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything
> > you wear is fine. Really.
> >
> > 11.) You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
> >
> > 12.) Crying is blackmail.
> >
> > 13.) Ask for what you want. Let's be clear on this
> > one: Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't
> > work. Really obvious hints don't work. Just say it!
> >
> > 14.) No, we don't know what day it is. We never will.
> > Mark Anniversaries on the calendar.
> >
> > 15.) Peeing standing up is more difficult. We're bound
> > to miss sometimes.
> >
> > 16.) Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes
> > you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out
> > of thirty, would look good with your dress?
> >
> > 17.) Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to
> > almost every question.
> >
> > 18.) Come to us with a problem only if you want help
> > solving it. That's what we do.
> >
> > 19.) Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
> >
> > 20.) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
> > See a doctor.
> >
> > 21.) Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
> > Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it
> > doesn't really matter what they're saying anyway.
> >
> > 22.) Check your oil.
> >
> > 23.) It is neither in your best interest nor ours to
> > take the quiz together.
> >
> > 24.) No, it doesn't matter which quiz.
> >
> > 25.) Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in
> > an argument. All comments become null and void after
> > 7 days.
> >
> > 26.) If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
> > and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant
> > the other one.
> >
> > 27.) Let us ogle. We're going to look anyway; it's
> > genetic.
> >
> > 28.) You can either tell us to do something OR tell us
> > how to do something, but not both.
> >
> > 29.) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have
> > to say during commercials.
> >
> > 30.) If it itches, it will be scratched.
> >
> > 31.) Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for
> > you.
> >
> > 32.) If we ask what's wrong and you say "nothing," we
> > will act like nothing's wrong. We know you're lying,
> > but it's just not worth the hassle.
> >
> > Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to
> > sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really
> > don't mind that, it's like camping!
> >
> >
> >
Satish Mehta
Summit Information System-St.Louis
(541)758-5888x6454
* To join/leave the list, search archives, change list settings, *
* etc., please visit http://raven.utc.edu/archives/hp3000-l.html *
|
