http://www.newyorker.com/shouts/content/articles/060807sh_shouts

THE BUSH QUIZ: THE TWENTIETH HUNDRED DAYS      by PAUL SLANSKY
Issue of 2006-08-07        Posted 2006-07-31


1. Complete George W. Bush’s quote: “I believe that my job is _____.”

(a) to protect life. And sometimes people have to die in order to protect 
life, see? And that saddens me.

(b) hard. It’s a heckuva hard job. It’s difficult. But I’m doin’ it, see, 
and I’m gonna keep on doin’ it, because that’s the job of a President.

(c) to go out and explain to people what’s on my mind. That’s why I’m 
having this press conference, see? I’m telling you what’s on my mind. And 
what’s on my mind is winning the war on terror. 

(d) to construe the laws I sign in a Presidential way. Because that’s part 
of being a leader, see, is construing with your gut.

 
2. Who is Peter Wallsten?

(a) The partially blind reporter whom George W. Bush mocked (“Are you going 
to ask that question with shades on?”) for not removing his sunglasses 
while addressing the President.

(b) The wheelchair-bound senior citizen whom George W. Bush mocked (“You 
look mighty comfortable”) for not standing in the presence of the President.

(c) The C.I.A. employee who, after delivering the “Bin Laden Determined to 
Strike in U.S.” briefing, was told by George W. Bush, “All right, you’ve 
covered your ass now.”

(d) The Iraq-war amputee with whom George W. Bush tried to bond by telling 
him about a scratch he got during “combat with a cedar” while clearing 
brush.


Match the number with what it quantifies.
3. At least 30,000. 
4. More than 5,000.
5. Zero.
6. Around 200.

(a) Dollars’ worth of merchandise that the former Bush domestic-policy 
adviser Claude Allen was alleged to have stolen from Target and other 
stores through a phony refund scam. 
(b) Shotgun pellets embedded in the face and upper body of Harry 
Whittington by Dick Cheney.
(c) National monuments or icons that Secretary of Homeland Security Michael 
Chertoff said there are in New York City. 
(d) dollars donated by Barbara Bush to a hurricane relief fund with the 
stipulation that the money be spent on software bought from a company run 
by her son Neil.

7. Complete George W. Bush’s quote: “Nobody likes _______.”
(a) it when the press commits treason.
(b) being lied to.
(c) Osama bin Laden except the Democrats.
(d) beheadings.


8. Three of these quotes were made by George W. Bush. Which one was made by 
Donald Rumsfeld?
(a) “Nobody likes war. It creates a sense of—of uncertainty in the country.”
(b) “The plan [in Iraq] is to prevent a civil war, and, to the extent one 
were to occur, to have the, from a security standpoint, have the Iraqi 
security forces deal with it to the extent they’re able to.”
(c) “Sometimes leaders show up who do a great disservice to the traditions 
and people of a country. ”
(d) “There are limits to how much corn can be used for ethanol. After all, 
we got to eat some.” 


Who’s who?
9. John Green.
10. James B. Comey.
11. James E. Hansen.
12. Harry Taylor.

(a) The “Good Morning America” producer who was suspended after e-mails he 
sent, including one in which he wrote, “Bush makes me sick,” were leaked. 
(b) The NASA official who said, “It seems more like Nazi Germany or the 
Soviet Union than the United States,” after the Administration began 
censoring climate scientists who tried to speak about global warming. 
(c) The Justice Department official who refused to authorize the National 
Security Agency’s domestic surveillance program. 
(d) The questioner at a Charlotte event who told George W. Bush, “I would 
hope, from time to time, that you have the humility and the grace to be 
ashamed of yourself.” 

 

13. How did Dick Cheney say that the September 11th attacks might have been 
prevented?
(a) If George W. Bush’s father had taken out Saddam Hussein in 1991.
(b) If the Bush Administration had been able to eavesdrop on the hijackers’ 
phone conversations without court orders.
(c) If the National Security Agency hadn’t waited until September 12th to 
translate two messages warning of the attacks which had been intercepted on 
September 10th.
(d) If even one of the F.B.I. agent Harry Samit’s more than seventy 
warnings that Zacarias Moussaoui was a terrorist had been heeded.


14. Three of these quotes were made by George W. Bush. Which one was made 
by Dick Cheney?
(a) “I do want to give you some thoughts about what I’m thinking about.” 
(b) “They ought to learn to sing the national anthem in English.” 
(c) “We have all the legal authority we need.” 
(d) “When you turn on your TV screen and see innocent people die day in and 
day out, it affects the mentality of our country.” 


15. What pair of men did George W. Bush refer to as an “interesting cat” 
and a “dangerous dude”?
(a) The Iraqi Defense Minister and the Al Qaeda leader Abu Musab al-
Zarqawi. 
(b) Elvis Presley and “Colonel” Tom Parker, during the guided tour of 
Graceland that Bush gave to Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi.
(c) Owen Wilson and Matt Dillon, after a special White House screening 
of “You, Me and Dupree.”

 

16. What was George W. Bush talking about when he declared, “I’m the 
decider, and I decide what’s best”?

(a) Pushing ahead with the Dubai ports deal despite not having known about 
it until it appeared in the media.
(b) Blocking a Justice Department probe of the Administration’s secret 
domestic spying operation.
(c) Keeping Donald Rumsfeld as Defense Secretary despite calls by six 
retired generals for his firing.
(d) Vetoing a stem-cell-research bill.

17. What did George W. Bush say was “the best moment” during his years in 
the White House?

(a) “The first day I sat at my desk in the Oval Office and thought about 
all the history that happened there and realized that now it was my turn.”
(b) “When I caught a seven-and-a-half-pound largemouth bass on my lake.”
(c) “When they told me we caught Saddam in his hidey-hole.”


18. True or false: When Tim Russert, the host of “Meet the Press,” said 
that “there were a lot of misjudgments made” regarding Iraq, his guest 
Condoleezza Rice pointed out, “There are also some misjudgments that were 
not made.” 

19. Which of these words were among the top ten responses in a Pew Research 
Center poll that asked voters for the first word that came to mind when 
they think about George W. Bush?

(a) “Decisive,” “charming,” “brilliant,” and “truthful.”
(b) “Booze,” “cocaine,” “failure,” and “smirk.”
(c) “Illegitimate,” “simian,” “hotheaded,” and “torture.”
(d) “Incompetent,” “idiot,” “liar,” and “ass.”


 

 

Answers:

(1) c, (2) a, (3) d, (4) a, (5) c, (6) b, (7) d, (8) b, (9) a, (10) c, (11) 
b, (12) d, (13) b, (14) c, (15) a, (16) c, (17) b, (18) True, (19) d

 

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