In was just reading Jim Phillips post entitled "Y2K = Apocalypse" and
after a few more messages the below messages came along.  Since I was in
humorous Apocalyptic mood, I thought I'd share.  Most of the below we've
heard before but they way they've been cobbled together makes an
interesting montage:

Tracy Johnson
"Trust No One" - Semper Gumby

---------- Forwarded message ----------
(Editor's Note: If you are new to e-mail, you miight not recognize the
humor in these. - Rich)
 ============================
I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering from
having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken.

So nyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his bathtub
and it was full of ice and he was sore all over.  When he got out of the
tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN STOLEN and he saw a note on his
mirror that said "Call 911!"

But he was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his
computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy his hard
drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!"  He knew it wasn't a
hoax because he himself was a computer programmer who was working on
software to save us from Armageddon when the year 2000 rolls around.

His program will prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get
together and distribute the $600 Nieman Marcus cookie recipe under the
leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true-I read it all last week in a mass
e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free
Disneyworld vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I
know.)

The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing
kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with an
HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said, "Welcome to
the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from the hospital --
the one, actually, where that little boy who is dying of cancer is, the one
whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him an e-mail and the
American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he
receives.

I sent him two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of X's and O's in the
shape of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you will
have good luck but ten people you will only have ok luck and if you send it
to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).

So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on the
way he noticed another car driving along without his lights on. To be
helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of a
gang initiation.

And it's a little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.

((WHEW!!! [Bob]))