Sorry for the waste of bandwidth, but this is good humor, and I know there
are at least a few on the list who will appreciate it!

>
>DEMOCRAT
>You have two cows.  Your neighbor has none.  You feel guilty for
>being successful.  You vote people into office that put a tax on your
>cows,forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.  The people
>you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your
>neighbor.  You feel righteous.  Barbara Streisand sings for you.
>
>SOCIALIST
>You have two cows.  The government takes one and gives it to your
>neighbor.  You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his
>cow.
>
>REPUBLICAN
>You have two cows.  Your neighbor has none.  So?
>
>COMMUNIST
>You have two cows.  The government seizes both and provides you
>with milk.  You wait in line for hours to get it.  By this time, it is
>expensive and sour.
>
>CAPITALISM - AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows.  You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of
>cows.
>
>DEMOCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows.  The government taxes you to the point you have
>to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one
>cow,which was a gift from your government.
>
>BUREAUCRACY - AMERICAN STYLE
>You have two cows.  The government takes them both, shoots one,
>milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the
>drain.
>
>AMERICAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows.  You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do
>an IPO on the 2nd one.  You force the two cows to produce the milk of
>four cows.  You are surprised when one cow drops dead.  You spin an
>announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are
>reducing expenses.  Your stock goes up.
>
>FRENCH CORPORATION
>You have two cows.  You go on strike because you want three cows.
>You go to lunch.  Life is good.
>
>JAPANESE CORPORATION
>You have two cows.  You redesign them so they are one-tenth the
>size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.  They learn
>to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.  Most are at the top of
>their class at cow school.
>
>GERMAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows.  You engineer them so they are all blond, drink
>lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles
>an hour.  Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per
>year.
>
>ITALIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows but you don't know where they are.  While ambling
>around, you see a beautiful woman.  You break for lunch.  Life is
>good.
>
>RUSSIAN CORPORATION
>You have two cows.  You count them and learn you have five cows.
>You have some more vodka.  You count them again and learn you have 42
>cows.  You count them again and learn you have 12 cows.  You stop
>counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.  You produce your
>10th 5-year plan in the last 3 months.  The Mafia shows up and takes
>over however many cows you really have.
>
>FLORIDA CORPORATION
>You have a black cow and a brown cow.  Everyone votes for the best
>looking one.  Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote
>for the black one. Some people vote for both.  Some people vote for neither.
>Some
>people can't figure out how to vote at all.
>Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the
>best-looking one.
>
>NEW YORK CORPORATION
>You have fifteen million cows.  You have to choose which one will
>be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.
>
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