HEWLETT-PACKARD PLANS NEW ACQUISITION

Palo Alto, CA (Reuters) Only months after merging with Compaq, the New
HP, looking to expand into new markets and consolidate its position in
the high-tech service sector, unveiled plans for the acquisition of
Kevorkian Inc., the nation's leading euthanasia specialist, on
Thursday.

The stock-and-cash transaction is valued at over 1.6 billion dollars,
after which the mercy death provider will become a wholly-owned
subsidiary of HP. At the press conference, HP CEO Carleton "Carly"
Fiorina hailed the deal as a "great leap forward," an affirmation of
her company's intent to remain a leader in the brave new corporate
world of the 21st century.

"We've come to realized that our customers don't want technology per
se. They want solutions. It's not enough for us to improve the
productivity of their workforce, we also have to help them take care
of those workers who've become unproductive or redundant."

"Acquisition of Kevorkian will enable us to deliver end-to-end
solutions that maximize the return on Corporate America's human
capital."

Fiorina's counterpart, Dr. Jack Kevorkian, echoed her sentiments,
describing the deal as a "symbiosis."

HP officials anticipate an annual saving of 2 billion dollars
resulting from the acquisition, mainly through cuts in employee
benefits. Starting next year the company will no longer offer medical
insurance or pension plans to its workers. Instead, those who are too
sick or too old to work will be placed into a "state of special
retirement." Officials are also expecting an immediate boost to the
company's cash-flow, once it has reassigned the 17,000 workers slated
to be lay off post-merger to a "better destination."

While skepticism greeted the HP-Compaq merger proposal last fall,
reactions on Wall Street to Thursday's announcement have been largely
positive.

"There's zero overlap in what the companies do. One makes computers;
the other kills people. I see a lot of room for synergy here,"
explained Joe Mengele, bio-tech analyst at Deutsche Asset Management.

"Kevorkian will help them clear out the dead woods at HP, while HP's
expertise with information technology will enhance the scope and
efficiency of Kevorkian's operation. It's truly a match made in
heaven."

Mengele also cited Carly Fiorina's steadfast leadership and uncommon
vision as reasons for optimism.

Critics of HP management, however, question whether euthanasia is
compatible with the company's corporate culture, long known in Silicon
Valley as the "HP Way." They also worry the practice of exterminating
employees might adversely affect morale.

"I must emphatically reiterate that Bill and Dave never developed a
premeditated business strategy that treated HP employees as
expendable," said David W. Packard, son of HP's late founder.

Shares of Hewlett-Packard (HPQ) and Kevorkian Inc. (KILL) rose on
Friday morning trading.

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