Enjoy!

Ted

--------- Begin forwarded message ----------
>
> Abbott and Costello's first computer
>
> Costello: Hey, Abbott!
> Abbott:   Yes, Lou?
> Costello: I just got my first computer.
> Abbott:   That's great, Lou. What did you get?
> Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a
>           24X CD-ROM.
> Abbott:   That's terrific, Lou.
> Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!
> Abbott:   You will in time.
> Costello: That's exactly why I'm here to see you.
> Abbott:   Oh?
> Costello: I heard that you're a real computer expert.
> Abbott:   Well, I don't know . . .
> Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff.  And you're going to train me.
> Abbott:   Really?
> Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
> Abbott:   O.K. Lou. What do you want to know?
> Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should
>           be very careful how you turn it off.
> Abbott:   That's true.
> Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it
>           off. What do I do?
> Abbott:   Well, first you press the Start button, and then . . .
> Costello: No, I told you I want to turn it off.
> Abbott:   I know, you press the Start button . . .
> Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it Off.  I know how to start it.  So
>           tell me what to do.
> Abbott:   I did.
> Costello: When?
> Abbott:   When I told you to press the Start button.
> Costello: Why should I press the Start button?
> Abbott:   To shut off the computer.
> Costello: I press Start to stop?
> Abbott:   Well, Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
> Costello: I knew it! So what do I press?
> Abbott:   Start.
> Costello: Start what?
> Abbott:   Start button.
> Costello: Start button to do what?
> Abbott:   Shut down.
> Costello: You don't have to get rude!
> Abbott:   No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
> Costello: Then say what you mean.
> Abbott:   To shut down the computer, press . . .
> Costello: Don't say, "Start!"
> Abbott:   Then what do you want me to say?
> Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the
>           Stop button, the End button or even the Cease and Desist button,
>           but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.
> Abbott:   But that's what you do.
> Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.
> Abbott:   Don't be ridiculous.
> Costello: I'm being ridiculous? Well, I think it's about time we started this
>           conversation.
> Abbott:   What are you talking about?
> Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

----- End forwarded message -----

--
Ted Ashton ([log in to unmask]), Info Serv, Southern Adventist University
          ==========================================================
...She knew only that if she did or said thus-and-so, men would unerringly
respond with the complimentary thus-and-so. It was like a mathematical
formula and no more difficult, for mathematics was the one subject that had
come easy to Scarlett in her schooldays.
                        -- Mitchell, Margaret
Gone With the Wind.